In 1986, leadership consultant, Jard DeVille suggested that good listeners were hard to find in the “take-charge, do-it-now civilization” in which he lived (DeVille 1986, 181). In today’s world of “microwaves” and “instant messaging,” finding good listeners is even more difficult. Michael Nichols, author of The Lost Art of Listening, reveals why: “Few motives in human experience are as powerful as the yearning to be understood” (Zweifel 1998). “Being listened to means that we are taken seriously, that our ideas and feelings are known and, ultimately, that what we have to say matters,” Nichols says (Zweifel 1998). It is this desire to be understood that often generates our compulsion to speak and undermines our ability to listen.

While listening is not a foreign concept in other disciplines, such as counseling, it is rarely elevated as an essential skill in leadership. The purpose of this paper is to explore the value of listening as it relates to the role of pastoral leadership.

Pastoral Leadership

To understand better the value of listening to the role of pastoral leadership, let us first explore the responsibilities of a pastoral leader.

Leadership is most often and most simply defined as influence. DeVille adds that pastoral leadership “implies that there is also a group of followers who more or less consistently look to the leader(s) for guidance.” He also suggests, “Both leaders and followers are directed deliberately toward the completion of certain tasks. Leadership thereby implies a goal-directed process” (DeVille 1986, 22). If leadership is a “goal-directed process,” what then is the goal of pastoral leadership?

The Goal of Pastoral Leadership

The goal of pastoral leadership is found in what Aubrey Malphurs calls the church’s mission. “The mission of the church,” and thus the pastoral leader’s goal, “is…to make disciples” (Malphurs 2005, 124). This conviction finds its origin in Jesus’ Great Commission located in Matthew 28:19-20. “Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (NASB).

The Process of Pastoral Leadership

Our fulfillment of the commission begins with Evangelism. Evangelism is the communication of the gospel to non-believers. Once a person becomes a believer, they are led to become more Christ-like through the effective teaching of God’s principles found in the Bible (DeWire 1961, 73). The culmination of this process is seen as the new Christian grows in their understanding and acceptance of God’s word and becomes able to influence others effectively in the same way.

The Benefits of Listening

Listening Enhances Evangelism

One of the primary responsibilities of pastoral leadership is to exemplify and encourage evangelism. Evangelism is the first step in our fulfillment of the Great Commission of Matthew 28. Evangelism is an invitation to the lost to repent and accept Jesus as Savior. Jard DeVille suggests that speech is the “most important ally to our Christian witness” (DeWire 1961, 78). While this may be true, the mission assigned to us is null without the support of purposeful listening as well.

Listening not only enhances evangelism but also helps us learn the language. In his book The Christian as Communicator, Harry DeWire warns, “words always form a barrier among people who are in communication” (DeWire 1961, 148). There can be no greater example of this type of barrier than evangelism. Language is complex and the spoken word can be confusing. Adding to the confusion is our tendency to give meaning to words that are not universally understood (DeWire 1961, 75-76). In his report The Value of Responsiveness, Bill Brooks points out that 500 of the most commonly used words in the English language have over 14,000 meanings (Brooks 2005, 3). DeWire reminds us that not everyone understands or even uses the same vocabulary that we do. To ignore the intended meaning of a word used can be a costly mistake (DeVille 1986, 181). To foster better communication and understanding, pastoral leaders should listen well to those they are attempting to lead or evangelize and adapt the terminology to their audience.

Have you ever been inadvertently shut out of a conversation? You are poised and eager to join in but there never seems to be an “opening” or a lull in the exchange. You stand there waiting for an “invitation” to join. Listening, not only provides an “opening” for others to join in what you are doing, it provides an “invitation” to them as well (DeWire 1961, 68). The willingness to listen to others provides the opportunity for others to listen to us as well. Attentiveness to others communicates both verbally and non-verbally that we are “open” to receive others to join us. Rather than inviting others to join us by listening to them, people have the tendency to spend most of their time talking and the rest of it defending what they have said. The discipline of listening will “reduce the need for defense and thereby enhance our skills of invitation” (DeWire 1961, 74).

This “invitation” is critical to evangelism. The presentation of the gospel is a question that demands an answer. Will you repent and receive Jesus as Savior? Once we have asked, should we not listen for an answer?

Attentive listening reveals a readiness for the answer and allows us to see the fruit of evangelism. The fruit of evangelism is tender. It can easily become bruised and possibly even ruined when trying to harvest. Those doing the harvesting would do well to look and listen for signs that the harvest is ready. Even then, care must be given to prevent the fruit from being damaged. People are the fruit of evangelism and they are quite fragile. Harry DeWire says it best: “We must be attentive and learn how to listen and to be sensitive to the demands of the moment and to the dimensions of the particular confrontation. It may be in this first gesture that an entire relationship will be won or lost” (DeWire 1961, 68).

Listening Augments Assimilation

We have already seen that listening invites “people into our lives,” however, it also can “establish the encounter at the level of feeling and, eventually, of meaning” (DeWire 1961, 72). This meaning will allow others to relate to and thus follow our leadership.

Making disciples is a relational process. Pastoral leaders are to be relational, not only with our Heavenly Father, but with others as well. No one ever succeeded in being a leader just doing budgets and selecting educational material (DeVille 1986, 34). Effective pastoral leaders relate to people well by conveying willingness, through listening, of being available for interpersonal relationships.

The idea of speaking by itself does not foster relationships. Good relationships are built only when we are listened to as well as talked to. Oliver Wendell Holmes said: “To be able to listen to others in a sympathetic and understanding manner, is perhaps the most effective mechanism in the world for getting along with people, and tying up their friendship for good” (Sanders 1994, 75).

“Good listening, not necessarily more talking, is the key to good communication. Failure to listen well communicates that we may not value the person talking or we may not think what he or she is saying is important enough to give him or her a hearing” (Malphurs 2005, 87). People need and want to be valued. Pastoral leaders have the ability to show value to others by listening well.

Understanding is also essential in expressing value to a person; however, it cannot be realized without effective listening. Prior to having enough information to make an informed decision, people often act on or respond to their misconceptions (DeVille 1986, 181). This error can be costly in leadership. DeWire tells us that words are deep meanings searching for expression. Pastoral leaders should seek to remove the barriers of this expression by listening honestly without prejudging (DeWire 1961, 75). At some point, everyone has been misunderstood. The consequences are usually insignificant, but at times, they can be devastating. “If we practice listening well to one another, we will better understand and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings in our churches. James warns: ‘My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires’ (James 1:19-20).” (Malphurs 2005, 86-87)

If misunderstandings do occur, and they will, pastoral leaders will have to address them. This responsibility comes with the position. Oswald Sanders tells us that leaders must “master the art of listening” to get to the “root of the problem” (Sanders 1994, 75).

DeWire suggests that, in order to address such issues properly, pastoral leaders “should be prepared to accept anything that is said, no matter how contrary it seems to the very thing we are trying to profess. We must be ready to hear things said about God, the church, and other people that would not be said within the community of the redeemed” (DeWire 1961, 74).

Another suggestion offered by DeVille is called reinforcement listening. Reinforcement listening is the art of knowing what to respond to and when to do it. When listening for “hidden emotions” behind something being said, we should only respond to the “concerns that are important to the discussion” (DeVille 1986, 181). Often times people use “logical justification” to include unrelated ideas to a related topic. DeVille suggests that the listener ignore comments that do not pertain to the issue at hand. Reinforcement listening can help you flush out the “hidden fears” and “secret agendas” that are often the biggest contributors to the problem at hand (DeVille 1986, 181).

Listening Deepens Discipleship

The process of making disciples is all about communication. Contrary to many misconceptions, communication also requires listening. Communication is a relational dialog, not a sermon; it gives direction as well as receives understanding (DeVille 1986, 44). This understanding assists in empowering people.

“When we encourage individuals to discover their abilities and potential, we empower them,” says Charles Sell. He goes on to say that acceptance makes that happen (Sell 1995, 124). Sell informs us that we must learn the abilities and weaknesses of others in order to accept them truly. Attentive listening is the only skill that generates feelings of acceptance within us as well as communicates our acceptance to others.

Discipleship culminates when people are empowered. Through the discipleship process, with the help of pastoral leaders, Christians mature and prepare for leadership themselves. To assist Christians in becoming more Christ-like, pastoral leaders should first listen to find out the strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes of the disciple. Armed with the knowledge of the person’s skills and interests, a pastoral leader can then provide relevant opportunities for growth and development. As the disciple becomes ready, the pastoral leader encourages and empowers him or her to take on more and more responsibilities (DeWire 1961, 48).

Leaders who listen have followers who listen. Jard DeVille introduces us to the Reciprocity Principle. DeVille tells us “men and women consistently react to others as they are first treated” (DeVille 1986, 161). “According to this principle of interpersonal interaction, whenever you, as leader, offer people trust, you will normally be trusted by your followers. If you offer esteem to men and women, they will come to respect you. If you become angry and manipulate others, they will become your adversaries. If you develop a leadership approach that enables people to achieve consistently, they will give you the extra support that will set you head and shoulders above your less-perceptive peers” (DeVille 1986, 163).

This is not a new concept, however. Scripture captures this thought in Luke 6:31: “Do for others just what you want them to do for you.”

DeVille suggests that effective use of this principle can “multiply your effectiveness and efficiency” in leadership by teaching others to use it as well (DeVille 1986, 163). Listening to others provides a leader with a much broader perspective than they can achieve on their own (DeVille 1986, 45). This understanding and perspective build trust in the relationship between the leader and the disciple.

Aubrey Malphurs puts it simply: “If they do not trust you, you cannot lead them” (Malphurs 2005, 63). In other words, people will not follow your lead if they do not trust you. The only way for others to learn to trust you is to be trustworthy. Listen to others with genuine heart-felt interest and eventually they will learn to trust you. Relationships built on trust take a great investment of time (DeWire 1961, 73).

A Better Understanding of the Art of Listening

Listening is notoriously oversimplified. DeWire reminds us that listening “is more than just standing in the presence of another while he is talking” (DeWire 1961, 72). One reason for this is that listening is an active role in communication while hearing is simply passive (Turner 2005). To listen effectively to someone means that you are intentionally seeking to understand what is being communicated. Understanding what is being communicated cannot always be done with just our ears. “Expressed behavior carries with it a weight of meaning. There is a reservoir of emotional information out of which all our expressions come.” (DeWire 1961, 75) Thus paying close attention to someone’s expressions can be just as revealing, if not more so, as their words.

Our goal in listening should be to get “below the content of what is being said to the level of what is being felt” (DeWire 1961, 75). To do this, pastoral leaders must employ a high level of active and attentive listening. This is necessary because people are often protective, if not deceptive, in what they communicate to others. Being able to read between the lines becomes a valuable tool in ministry.

The Art of Listening with Your Ears

Good listening requires much more than simply hearing what was said (Smith 2005). We must truly listen. “The ear, of course, is the primary listening post of the body. It catches the sound of anxiety or concern, of casualness or rigidity, the crisp tones of resentment, or the easy tones of friendliness” (DeWire 1961, 68). When listening attentively, Pastoral leaders are empowered by the way things are said just as much as what is being said. Using this new understanding, a skillful listener will be able to turn their influence into actual persuasion. Leadership expert, Daniel Williams expresses it this way: “Persuasion often demands listening to the people you are trying to influence” (Williams 2001).

The Art of Listening with Your Eyes

Surprisingly enough the eyes play a large role in “listening.” Harry DeWire says, “We listen not only with our ears but with our eyes” (DeWire 1961, 68). To listen with the ears alone means that you have only heard half of what was being said.

DeWire reveals “in almost all normal interpersonal contacts, the eyes function before the ears. While our ears are listening for other voices, our eyes are already doing their own ‘listening.’” (DeWire 1961, 68) Attentive “listening,” with both the eyes and the ears, can provide leaders with much-needed insight. “Our glances can take in the entire situation, and if we are sensitive to people’s actions, it is not long before we have sized up the situation in which we are involved” (DeWire 1961, 69).

The Art of Listening with Your Mouth

Speaking has a role in listening as well. Your response to a person who is attempting to communicate to you reinforces their acceptance. “People need to have us speak. It reassures them of their being listened to, of their knowing that they are at home with the person who is listening to them” (DeWire 1961, 77).

“Our speech…tells people what is underneath us, and although our attentiveness may assure people that we are inviting them into our lives, what our listening means will not be completely revealed until we begin to speak.” It is always a wise idea to repeat your understanding of what was communicated to remove the possibility of a misunderstanding (DeWire 1961, 77-78).

When someone communicates something to us that is important to him or her, it is important that we respond appropriately. DeVille tells us to “listen without rebuttal, criticism, interruption, or defense. Let the person speak to his or her heart is content without responding in an attempt to blame anyone or protect yourself or the church. When feedback seems appropriate, demonstrate your acceptance and sense of proportion through your verbal and non-verbal communication” (DeVille 1986, 147). Listening well communicates a “high form of respect” for the person speaking (Petrini 1995). This type of response helps a person to know that they are understood and valued.

DeWire provides one last reminder to the pastoral leader about the use of his mouth: “The Christian has a right to speak only if he has listened” (DeWire 1961, 73). Only those who listen can determine an appropriate response (DeWire 1961, 80). DeVille tells us to “respond to the concerns that are important to the discussion and remain uncommunicative about the things that are not” (DeVille 1986, 181). Going off on tangents can destroy any rapport that has been established (DeVille 1986, 181).

The Art of Listening with Your Heart

Strong leadership begins in the heart of the leader. Pastoral leaders cannot serve effectively without a genuine love for those he serves. That love generates within the leader a genuine interest in others. Likewise, that love allows a leader to listen sincerely and honestly to the needs of others. Without this love for others, we fail to listen truly to them; often using the times that we should be listening to prepare a rebuttal to what is being said (DeVille 1986, 181).

Do Not Forget That Others Are Listening Too

Not only can you use attentive listening to size up the situation but others can too. “Nearly everyone has had the experience of talking to someone who was glancing around the room, probably trying to find someone more important to talk to” (DeWire 1961, 68). Pastoral leaders cannot afford to communicate one thing verbally while undermining it with their actions. Our body language can help us communicate better or it can destroy the communication altogether (DeWire 1961, 68-69). David Smith reminds us, “make an effort to keep your body receptive to the words that are being spoken” (Smith 2005).

Conclusion

Pastoral leaders should develop their listening skills to provide understanding as well as leadership to those who follow them. Many leaders seek to develop oration and organizational skills; very few actually seek to improve their listening skills. As a result, many fail to understand and to be understood. Thus, they fail to lead. The art of listening is an underutilized, yet essential aspect of communication necessary for effective pastoral leadership. There is no substitution.

If pastoral leaders are not actively listening to their followers, true communication does not exist within their ranks. If communication does not exist, neither does evangelism, assimilation, and discipleship. The failures of these essentials of ministry reflect a failure to fulfill the Great Commission and thus a failure of the leadership.

Reference List

Books

DeVille, Jard. Pastor’s Handbook on Interpersonal Relationships: Keys to Successful Leadership. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Book House Company, 1986.

DeWire, Harry A. The Christian as Communicator. Philadelphia: The Westminster Press, 1961.

Malphurs, Aubrey. Advanced Strategic Planning: A New Model for Church and Ministry Leaders. 2^nd Edition.  Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2005.

Sanders, J. Oswald. Spiritual Leadership, Principles of Excellence for Every Believer. Chicago, IL: Broadman and Holman Publishers, 1994.

Sell, Charles M. Family Ministry Second Edition. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1995.

Internet

Brooks, Bill. “The Value of Responsiveness.” American Salesman 2 (2005) [journal on-line]. Accessed 13 March 2006. Available from http://www.allbusiness.com/periodicals/ article/317846-1.html; Internet.

Petrini, Catherine M. “Listen Up!” Training & Development (1995) [journal on-line]. Accessed 13 March 2006. Available from http://search.epnet.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db= f5h&an=950301332; Internet.

Smith, David J. “The Power of Listening Fuels Good Leaders” Grand Rapids Business Journal (2005) [journal on-line]. Accessed 13 March 2006. Available from http://search.epnet.com/ login.aspx?direct=true&db=f5h&an=19165124; Internet.

Turner, Lynn. “Listen and Learn: Speaking is Only Part of the Communication Process” Business West (2005) [journal on-line]. Accessed 13 March 2006. Available from http://www.businesswest.com/Nov142005/supp_4c.htm; Internet.

Williams, Daniel. “Communicate Your Leadership Agenda” Executive Excellence (2001) [on-line]. Accessed 13 March 2006. Available from http://www.tolead.com/_documents /Document46.pdf; Internet.