Augustine. Confessions. Edited and Translated by Albert C. Outler [on-line]. Accessed 26 August 2005. Available from http://www.ccel.org/a/augustine/confessions; Internet.
In recent years the news media has reported an epidemic of deplorable stories and allegations concerning the actions of high-ranking church officials. In every case there continues to be denial and cover-ups by the church and the individuals involved. The behavior of these fallen leaders offers a strong contrast to that of the former Bishop of Hippo Regius, Saint Augustine. Augustine’s ministry was not plagued with scandal like his contemporaries. The difference is likely due to his Confessions. Rather than hiding his sinfulness and shortcomings, potentially allowing them to fester out of control, Augustine addressed them head on in his intensely personal Confessions. In this text Augustine repentantly contemplates God’s redeeming grace as well as his own sinful behavior from which he was eventually redeemed.
Source: Wikipedia
In the first book of Confessions Augustine consumes five chapters with his humble and praise filled inquiry to God. Rather than an arrogant dissertation of his personal beliefs and opinions, Augustine prayerfully explores the questions in his own mind concerning the goodness of God and His interaction with man.
Or, indeed, is there no need that thou, who dost contain all things, shouldst be contained by any, since those things which thou dost fill thou fillest by containing them? For the vessels which thou dost fill do not confine thee, since even if they were broken, thou wouldst not be poured out.
It is not only God’s interaction with man that is puzzling Augustine. Surprisingly enough it is also God’s interaction with infants and children. Beginning in chapter six Augustine explores thoughts of his own infancy. Having no recollection of his own thoughts or behavior as an infant, he spent some time observing other infants as well as questioning his own parents and caretakers. Augustine suggests that even as an infant his self-centeredness motivated most, if not all, of his actions. “I grew indignant that my elders were not subject to me and that those on whom I actually had no claim did not wait on me as slaves—and I avenged myself on them by crying.”
In fact, Augustine credited this selfishness as a primary factor in the development of his own speech and motor skills.
So it was that by frequently hearing words, in different phrases, I gradually identified the objects which the words stood for and, having formed my mouth to repeat these signs, I was thereby able to express my will.
While most people downplay the severity of even the most grievous of sins, Augustine questions the motivations of infants. It seems that infancy would be an ideal explanation for ill behavior but even here Augustine offers no excuses for sinful behavior.
Augustine’s teachers accepted no excuses either. In his early childhood Augustine was often beaten at school for immature, if not sinful, behavior. In his reflections over these matters he takes full responsibility for his punishment. Augustine acknowledged “…I sinned, O Lord my God, in acting against the precepts of my parents and of those teachers.” Without excusing his own behavior, he also addressed the sinful behavior of his teachers. “But the idling of our elders is called business; the idling of boys, though quite like it, is punished by those same elders, and no one pities either the boys or the men.”
Even with clear knowledge of his leader’s shortcomings, Augustine never faults someone else for his own behavior. Augustine never lets himself off the hook. “And I—though so small a boy yet so great a sinner—was not punished without warrant.”
For years to come, Augustine continued to “warrant” such punishment. Augustine recalls the role his friends played in his life as a teenager. “I was ashamed to be less shameless than they, when I heard them boasting of their disgraceful exploits—yes, and glorying all the more the worse their baseness was.”
One such disgraceful exploit in which Augustine participated was the theft of pears from a neighbor’s tree. He and his companions emptied the tree and dumped all the pears into the pigpen. Augustine points out that the reason for his involvement was more related to the appeal of the sin itself rather than that of the fruit.
I stole those simply that I might steal, for, having stolen them, I threw them away. My sole gratification in them was my own sin, which I was pleased to enjoy; for, if any one of these pears entered my mouth, the only good flavor it had was my sin in eating it.
Augustine goes on to explore more about his involvement in this theft as well as his involvement with those he fails to call friends. Calling them such things as accomplices, scoundrels and fellow sinners, Augustine credits this group of peers as having enabled him to commit such a crime. While not releasing himself from his own responsibility, Augustine claims that (having no need or desire for the pears) he would not have stolen them had it not been for his companions. It was the carousing and revelry that allowed him to satisfy his thirst for sin.
Reading only the first two books in a series would normally leave one without a conclusion, but with Augustine’s constant reflection on God’s grace and mercy it seems obvious the outcome of his Confessions.
Hear my prayer, O Lord; let not my soul faint under thy discipline, nor let me faint in confessing unto thee thy mercies, whereby thou hast saved me from all my most wicked ways till thou shouldst become sweet to me beyond all the allurements that I used to follow. Let me come to love thee wholly, and grasp thy hand with my whole heart that thou mayest deliver me from every temptation, even unto the last.
Those church officials that we have been hearing about in the media lately have failed to love God “wholly” and in doing so they have given themselves over to their own lust and temptations. While such failure does not really surprise me from an individual it does alarm me that their companions or “fellow sinners” attempt to cover up such atrocities. Augustine knew that our good God is faithful to forgive the humble and repentant.
Almost thirty years after the writing of Confessions Augustine reflects about the intended purpose of his confessions. In his Retractions, he said that his intent was to “…praise the righteous and good God as they speak either of my evil or good, and they are meant to excite men’s minds and affections toward him.” After reading only the first two books of the series, I believe my affections for our good God and Augustine have indeed grown.
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