This paper reviews several books that cover new ideas concerning what Timothy Paul Jones calls a “social construction with roots reaching back to the mid-1800s.” While the subject of these books may have had very deep roots, it was not until the mid-1900s that it began to blossom. What was originally an ambiguous and undefined period of human development, had come of age by the 1950s. This time of reluctant transition between a carefree childhood and adult responsibility had finally received a label; they call it adolescence.

Jones suggests that it was the efforts of Horace Mann that served as the seed of adolescence. In 1852, Mann argued for compulsory education in Massachusetts. Mann’s belief that every person should be required to have a formal education was eventually supported indirectly by the 1875 judgment of the US Supreme Court as they agreed allow tax revenue to be utilized to fund secondary schools. With schools being accessible to the masses for little or no cost, the idea of adolescence was now fully cultivated.

Even with many supporting the idea of mandatory education, education is not a central theme in adolescence. Jones documents G. Stanley Hall suggesting that the adolescent “wander far and log enough to find the best habitat for themselves.” Hall either predicted or simply documented what would eventually be seen as one of the most pervasive characteristics of the adolescent, a lack of responsibility.

As a product of the great ten-year depression starting in 1929, Hall likely encountered many of these “wanderers” as they were removed from the workforce to make way for the adults who also needed work. Laws concerning mandatory education for these former employees were written and enforced, leading many of these adolescents into publicly supported high schools for the first time in their lives.

In the years following this Great Depression, the economy recovered with the help of a newly funded adolescence. Without the responsibilities of work, those caught between childhood and adulthood now had both time on their hands and money in their pockets. With significant discretionary income at their disposal, for the first time ever adolescents became the target of highly focused marketing efforts. These efforts served to segregate and even isolate the adolescent even more than ever. In essence, these marketing efforts either created or exploited the natural tendencies of the adolescent toward age segregation. With the family sufficiently fragmented, intergenerational communication became difficult, if not often impossible.

Book Summaries

Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham

One of the most endearing efforts to address the problem of adolescence is Voddie Baucham’s Family Driven Faith. Baucham is an itinerant preacher, popular speaker, part-time professor, and a committed, to say the least, family man. With a busy schedule, difficult enough to challenge the most disciplined individual, Baucham is devoted to seeing the pattern of age segregation and isolation done away with and replaced by what he believes to be the biblical model of parents owning responsibility over the spiritual maturity of their children. Baucham says that his book is an “effort to put the ball back in the family’s court and to motivate, correct, encourage, and equip families to do what God commands concerning the next generation” (Baucham 2007, 7).

Baucham does an excellent job getting the ball back where it belongs. Written, so it seems, to a general audience of parents, Baucham’s writing tugs at the heart relentlessly as it challenges the reader on every page. Baucham asks believing parents, “What if [they] are going through life convinced that their children are regenerate when in fact they are not” (Baucham 2007, 12)? He follows this emotionally loaded question with Thom Rainer’s research that shows, “nearly one-half of all church members may not be Christian” (Baucham 2007, 12). In another instance, Baucham calls the typical dating relationship “glorified divorce practice” (Baucham 2007, 21). He then argues that “young people are learning to give themselves away in exclusive, romantic, highly committed (at times sexual) relationships, only to break up and do it all over again” (Baucham 2007, 21). This fine mix of mind and emotion make for a powerful argument that few parents can ignore.

Baucham is typically cautious to build his arguments from the word of God. In fact, he builds much of his book on it as well. Once he introduces the book and establishes the sovereignty of God as the foundation for his argument, he turns to the book of Deuteronomy. Chapters two through seven are structured on Deuteronomy 6:4-9. This passage instructs Israel in raising children. Baucham argues that these principles are still sufficient for raising children in today’s world. Baucham offers what he calls the key to success as a parent. He says,

“The key is to understand that our children don’t belong to us—they belong to God. Our goal as parents must not be limited by our own vision. I am a finite, sinful, selfish man. Why would I want to plan out my children’s future when I can entrust them to the infinite, omnipotent, immutable, sovereign Lord of the universe” (Baucham 2007, 42)?

Baucham offers many useful ideas to believing parents concerning how to make a difference in their children’s relationship with Christ; not the least of which is spending more time together as a family in prayer and the word of God. Another such idea, which is sure to create conflict in the typical household, is that success in sports and academics as a goal for our children, Baucham says, must take a back seat to a successful relationship with God.

Baucham argues that nothing is more important than helping our children grow in grace. “Our primary goal for our children is that they walk with the Lord,” Baucham says. This Baucham holds in contrast to many parents. When asked in a George Barna survey, believing and unbelieving parents both say they agree a “good education” is most important. Baucham argues that we sacrifice the righteousness of our children for “experiences that will make them more liked, more respected, more normal” (Baucham 2007, 18). Baucham is convinced that, as parents, many of us “trade in the biblical standard for a cultural norm that hovers just below mediocrity” (Baucham 2007, 18).

While Baucham does a great job waking parents up from their slumber with this book, he offers little in the way of answering what a church can do to generate change. Baucham is committed to the family at the expense of the church. Baucham’s final solution falls short of being a replicable ministry model. After providing chapter after chapter of challenging evidence that something must change and encouraging examples of what seems to be success in his own family, Baucham leaves those who seek to minister through the local church with one question; what does it take? In Baucham’s defense, Family Driven Faith targets the parent not the pastor, which would be, at least, true to his thesis.

reThink: Decide for yourself is student ministry working? by Steve Wright

While Baucham’s book focuses almost exclusively on the family, Steve Wright’s book holds what he believes to be a reasonable balance between the family and the church. In his book reThink, Wright wrestles with much of the same research data that Baucham does and comes to a very different conclusion. In his conclusion, Wright offers insight and reproof for both the parent and the pastor.

Written from the perspective of someone who has the inside scoop and an obvious heart for both youth and youth ministers, reThink concludes the same key ideas as Baucham. First, our current effort to minister to youth is not working effectively. No matter what the budget is or what the attendance numbers reflect, our current ministries are simply not producing disciples. Wright quotes Southwestern Seminary’s Richard Ross saying, “Across the next ten years, some churches will get better and better at doing the wrong thing – with excellence.” Obviously, this point is not lost on Ross. Modern youth ministry simply does not work.

The second idea common between the two books is that the bible requires the parents to be the primary source of discipleship for their own children. One might think this understanding would take the weight of responsibility off Wright’s shoulders, but it does not. He holds tightly that God calls the church to play a significant role in the spiritual development of youth as well. While the parents have the responsibility to the children, the church is held responsible to disciple and equip the parents. While I do not believe Baucham failed to acknowledge that the church plays an essential role, he has taken a much different approach to resolve the issue than what Wright offers. While Baucham eliminates the subordinate ministry roles within his church, such as youth ministers, Wright offers a model that attempts to utilize both the parents and the existing church leadership. “Abandoning student ministry,” Wright says, “is not the answer” (Wright and Graves 2007, 39). “Our job is bigger than ever…we must equip parents with the tools and understanding to disciple their teens” (Wright and Graves 2007, 86).

Wright suggests that the solution is a “partnership between church and parents” (Wright and Graves 2007, 49). This partnership, he says, should place “equal importance on the family and the church” (Wright and Graves 2007, 75). Equal importance is not the same as equal roles. The parents have the primary responsibility for the discipleship of the youth while the church has the responsibility for the parents. He calls this balance of responsibilities between the two the “co-champion” model (Wright and Graves 2007, 74).

Wright is aware of the difficulty of his proposal. Many parents will be reluctant to accept this responsibility. Some parents have no desire to apply biblical standards to their own lives or to the lives of their children. These parents see youth ministry as a convenient “drop-off service” (Wright and Graves 2007, 50). Others genuinely desire to honor God in their lives but simply feel ill equipped. Wright reminds us, “Even if parents are abdicating their role, we should never be content to take it” (Wright and Graves 2007, 144).

The parents are not the only ones who make this proposal difficult. In response to the difficulties they face from some parents, many youth ministers also foster segregation from parents. Wright quotes one youth minister saying, “Student ministry wouldn’t be nearly as difficult if it didn’t involve dealing with parents” (Wright and Graves 2007, 47). Again, Wright offers words of wisdom, “It’s hypocritical to want parents to move towards us if we aren’t willing to move towards them” (Wright and Graves 2007, 165). Certainly, there is an innate difficulty in this proposal that cannot be avoided, but it does not have to be a trap.

Another contrast found between reThink and Family Driven Faith is that Wright offers, or at least attempts to offer, more answers than Baucham, especially where the church is involved. This is not necessarily a fallacy on either part, but a fundamental divergence in their philosophies. In the final chapters of reThink Wright gives surprisingly detailed steps for pursuing change toward his co-champion model of ministry. He wisely suggests that the implementation of his model at other churches “will and should look entirely different than” their execution. Surprisingly Wright does not use that insight as a excuse. He offers great insight concerning the necessity of fervent prayer, establishing and following principles, securing support of key leadership, setting realistic goals, learning as much as possible about your church culture, working with parents, and moving forward slowly and intentionally.

Family-Based Youth Ministry by Mark DeVries

Voddie Baucham and Steve Wright have made major contributions to the cause of family ministry, yet their work does not exhaust the many views on the subject. Mark DeVries offers his contribution in the book Family-Based Youth Ministry. While Baucham’s book emphasizes the family and Wright’s book argues for a balance between the family and the church, DeVries places a clear emphasis on the church. Like the other authors, DeVries, too, is concerned that we are experiencing a crisis in our efforts to reach and retain young people. DeVries, however, writes under the assumption that “the contemporary crisis in youth ministry has little to do with programming and everything to do with families” (DeVries 2004, 17)[1]. DeVries says, “In contrast to the family-ministry model, the youth-ministry model accesses parents and significant other adults, knowing that this approach will always be the most fruitful means of helping young people grow in Christ” (DeVries 2004, 175). Family-Based Youth Ministry makes a valiant effort to prove this point.

To establish the need for change the first few chapters argue that today’s youth ministry typically exhibits several key flaws. One such flaw is the focus on short-term objectives. While many youth ministries attempt to grow into significant numbers, they often sacrifice a sustained spiritual growth to do so. DeVries says, “The crisis is that we are not leading teenagers to mature Christian adulthood” (DeVries 2004, 26). Another flaw listed is the tendency to build the ministry around entertaining the students. “But keeping teenagers from ever being bored in their faith,” DeVries argues, “deprives them of the opportunity to develop the discipline and perseverance they need to live the Christian life” (DeVries 2004, 27). DeVries admits that he himself has “often mistaken short-term success for long-term effectiveness” (DeVries 2004, 29). The third flaw that DeVries lists is the issue of isolation. Most youth ministries today, inadvertently or even by intent, isolate the teens from those they need the most; mature believers. DeVries explains, “It’s clear that young people grow into maturity in general, and to maturity in Christ in particular, by being around people who exhibit such maturity themselves” (DeVries 2004, 37). All of the authors reviewed in this paper agree on this point; the difference comes in how they propose to address the issue.

While Baucham argues for the centrality of the family, DeVries cautions, “Christians must guard themselves against the temptation to idolize the family” (DeVries 2004, 167). It is difficult to accept family idolatry as something to be sensitive to. In a world where most families, even Christian families, typically neglect their biblical responsibilities in the home, it seems a witch-hunt for DeVries to suggest that for one to “focus on the family can become as abhorrent to God as any golden calf” (DeVries 2004, 167). With that said, the possibility of one making his or her family an idol, however unusual, still exists. For this reason, those who sincerely seek to address youth ministry primarily through the family, should heed this caution.

DeVries’ concern over the idolatry of family does not reduce the significance he places on parents in the ministry to youth. In fact, DeVries calls parents a “gold mine” when it comes to ministering to teens (DeVries 2004, 62). Current research tells us, “parents who simply talk about faith in the home and who involve their children in serving along side them can actually double and sometimes triple their children’s chances of living out their faith as adults” (DeVries 2004, 63). DeVries’ concern is that many parents are “not mature Christian adults themselves” (DeVries 2004, 73). It is in this deficiency that DeVries sees the church functioning. The extended family provided by youth ministry and the church as a whole reinforces the areas where the nuclear family breaks down. DeVries says, “For the majority, an extended Christian family is imperative to allow them to overcome the spiritual deficits of their families of origin” (DeVries 2004, 79). In light of this focus, DeVries prioritizes training the students’ parents and others who would have influence over them within the church but he then never diminishes the role of the church to accomplish this task.

Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp

Baucham, Wright, and DeVries have given us three separate views of family ministry. Our final book, Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens by Paul David Tripp, does not offer a fourth. The previous authors address family ministry as a whole. In contrast to the others, Age of Opportunity targets the parents of teens exclusively. Tripp’s book offers a more intimate look at the relationship between the parent and the teen.

While Tripp offers some research and statistics to make certain points, his book contains noticeably fewer references to outside research than the other books. This fact suggests that Tripp believes his audience does not need the external data to convince them that a need exists, and that change is necessary when it comes to the lives of their children. Parents of teens most likely understand the importance of the situations in which they live; as does Tripp. Tripp uses many of the paragraphs in this book to provide personal illustrations and commentary that more than qualify him as a peer among his audience of parents. Tripp’s humility blends nicely with the often-difficult memories of his own success and failure as a parent.

Tripp offers parents a wealth of insight concerning their relationship with their teens and with God. The first real insight Tripp offers to the reader is that adolescence is not always a negative experience. “The problem of teenage insecurity, teenage rebellion, and the teenager’s widening world are actually God’s doors of opportunity where parents have unique access to the central issues in their teenager’s lives” (Tripp 2001, 23). Adolescence can be both an obstacle and an opportunity.

The next significant lesson Tripp teaches is that both the teen and the parent face their own idols. Tripp says that adolescence has a way of exposing the idols in everyone. Tripp says, “The tumult of the teen years is not only about the attitudes and actions of the teens, but the thoughts, desires, attitudes, and actions of parents as well” (Tripp 2001, 17). Tripp argues that the exposure of the parent’s sin is remarkably beneficial for both the parent and the teen. Tripp goes own to offer the reader many ideas of what idols may remain in a parent’s life. He then goes own to encourage parents to address the idols in their lives head on and this, he says, will contribute to the health of the parent/teen relationship.

However, it is my experience that when parents begin to recognize, own, confess, and turn from their own wrong heart attitudes and the wrong actions that flow from them, the result is a marked difference in their relationship to their teen and in the way they view their struggles of the teen years. When we look with concerned eyes toward the teen years, we need to look not only at our children, but also at ourselves. Parents who are humbly willing to change, position themselves to be God’s instruments of change. (Tripp 2001, 18-19)

Another key lesson found in Age of Opportunity is the idea that parents should raise their children to be mature and independent believers rather than simply compliant in their behavior. Our goal as parents, Tripp says, is to raise children with “a heart for God” (Tripp 2001, 170). Tripp reminds us, however, that “we cannot give our teenagers what we do not have ourselves” (Tripp 2001, 208).

To assist in this effort, Tripp offers many practical strategies and techniques for parenting. One such strategy is the idea of “Project Parenting” (Tripp 2001, 215). The way this strategy works is for the parents to determine specific spiritual needs that exist in their children. Once the child’s spiritual needs are determined, the parents equip themselves with God’s word and prayer concerning the given spiritual need of their child. From there, the parents both exemplify and share God’s word as opportunities to do so become available with their teens, each time concentrating on the needs of the individual teen.

There are many other helpful ideas found in Tripp’s book. Of all the books reviewed, Tripp’s has clearly sought to provide a more intimate and pragmatic approach. Tripp does accomplish what he set out to do. If attentive to the wisdom contained within the pages, Age of Opportunity assists parents in seeing adolescence as an opportunity rather than just an obstacle.

Practical Ministry Strategy for Lakewood Baptist Church

Baucham, Wright, DeVries, and Tripp all agree that something is not working with today’s version of ministry to the family and more specifically to the adolescent. The research is clear and indisputable. The resulting proposals for ministry, however, are inconclusive. Even with this ambiguous direction, some things seem concrete.

God has dictated, through scripture, that a child’s parents have the greatest responsibility for the child’s spiritual development. In his research paper concerning the tragedy in Rockdale County, Georgia, Timothy Paul Jones writes that the parents of Rockdale County and their children live “parallel but separate lives” and think that it is perfectly normal. Jones calls this “family fragmentation” (Jones 2007, 14).

Lakewood, like most other churches, is not immune to such erroneous thinking. The difference is that, here at Lakewood, we have so few adolescents that their relationships with adults within the church, including their parents, is almost a given. This does not prevent, however, the emotional and sometimes physical distance felt between parent and child. While the church regularly integrates the parent and child, the issue is whether the two are integrated in life. One cannot assume this is the case. If the goal of family focused ministry is the long-term integration of the disciple and the disciple makers, the current system must surely be suffering along with our children.

The key issues that need addressed, here at Lakewood, are numerous. First, the parents must be discipled to the point of maturity in Christ themselves. The church as a whole needs to understand the Biblical responsibility of discipleship that rests on the shoulders of the parents. Note that the effort is to educate the church as a whole. One reason for this is that the church at large must reinforce and encourage the parents in their calling; however, the most significant reason is that the effort to disciple an adolescent, or anyone else, is more effective in the context of family. It should not surprise us that scripture communicates this very thing.

To accomplish this at Lakewood, the general teaching times must focus on the spiritual development of the family. What does the Bible say about the family? What does the Bible say about raising children and teenagers? Sunday morning worship service, Sunday school, and any other opportunity that arises should reinforce this message. Even when the church separates the family by ages, the studies should have interconnected subjects to allow the family to engage in meaningful interactions as they reconvene.

Rather than having the staff function separately in their ministries and programming, they should work together to develop ministry that relates to the entire family both in the content and in practical ways, including scheduling and financial accountability. This fundamental change in the everyday effort of the entire staff will face serious opposition. This opposition will come from those who are comfortable and complacent in their own circumstances. While they will agree with the concept, they will have a more difficult time with the idea of change that it dictates. Certainly, the senior pastor and the remaining powers within the church must be in agreement not only with the direction but they must also champion it. One simply cannot work around such influential leadership; one must minister to them and then work through them. Prayer and patience will remove the most difficult of barriers when it comes to doing God’s will.

The key to family ministry is to mature the parents in the Lord and connect them with their teenagers. This task is not easy and it is not instant. One thing consistent in the writings of Baucham, Wright, DeVries, and Tripp is that none of them feels as if they have conquered the problem of how to do family ministry. Family ministry, specifically adolescent ministry, offers an opportunity for the individuals and the family as a whole to grow in their relationship with Christ and one another. As a youth minister, parent, or teenager, one should not fear this opportunity, but one should prepare for it.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

Baucham, Voddie. 2007. Family Driven Faith. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.

DeVries, Mark. 2004. Family-Based Youth Ministry. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.

Jones, Timothy Paul. 2007. Rockdale County Revisited: A Family-Focused Student Ministry Model Based on The Case Study The Lost Children of Rockdale County. Research Paper. Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, Louisville, KY.

Tripp, Paul David. 2001. Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens. Phillipsburg, NJ: P&R Publishing.

Wright, Steve and Chris Graves. 2007. reThink; Decide for Yourself is Student Ministry Working?. Wake Forest, NC: InQuest Publishing.

[1] DeVries fails to address one issue that may weigh heavily in the loss of young people from his denomination. DeVries’ denomination (the Presbyterian Church USA), like many other liberal denominations, is loosing more than just its young people. One must give ample consideration that the unorthodox and unbiblical teachings of such denominations, on subjects like abortion and homosexuality, are driving many away from the church.